2008 Woodie Awards
Living in Randi's shoes
Nicole Weskerna/Online Reporter
Issue date: 10/26/07 Section: Sexual Abuse Awareness
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Her boyfriend was just a little drunk the first time he hit his girlfriend, senior sociology major Randi Brown. She had gotten mad at him for a reason she couldn't even remember and ended up driving herself to the hospital that night with a broken jaw.
"I just think he didn't want to look bad in front of his son," who was visiting at the time, said Randi. "He didn't even drive me to the hospital."
He'd knocked two of her teeth out and her jaw had to be wired shut. She had bruises "up and down, all over." She called her stepsister and two friends who met her at the hospital. "I didn't call my parents until two weeks after it happened."
Randi and her boyfriend had dated for about a year and a half, but the physical abuse didn't start until about a month before the relationship ended. The abuse started verbally, and then he tried preventing Randi from going to church. She became isolated from her friends and her family never liked her boyfriend in the first place.
"I never felt good enough for him," she said.
Randi's mother had been in an abusive relationship in the past and could tell there was something wrong with Randi's boyfriend.
"You don't want to date someone your parents don't like. It's too hard," said Randi.
Randi admitted to being afraid of her boyfriend. "He was a good manipulator-he knew I loved him and he used that against me," she said. "You don't realize that leaving him is what's best for you when you're there."
He came to visit Randi at the hospital the day after the incident, before she went into surgery. She said he apologized and he felt terrible. But he added that if he were going to stay with Randi, she would have to change.
Because he was so afraid of going to jail and losing his son, Randi never reported the incident.
Most reported cases of domestic abuse involve alcohol or drug use, causing a person to lose control of inhibitions.
"I didn't report it, but I wish I would have." She's still trying to pay off the $600 hospital bills from a little under a year ago. Right now, her dad is helping her out until she's done with school.
"I just think he didn't want to look bad in front of his son," who was visiting at the time, said Randi. "He didn't even drive me to the hospital."
He'd knocked two of her teeth out and her jaw had to be wired shut. She had bruises "up and down, all over." She called her stepsister and two friends who met her at the hospital. "I didn't call my parents until two weeks after it happened."
Randi and her boyfriend had dated for about a year and a half, but the physical abuse didn't start until about a month before the relationship ended. The abuse started verbally, and then he tried preventing Randi from going to church. She became isolated from her friends and her family never liked her boyfriend in the first place.
"I never felt good enough for him," she said.
Randi's mother had been in an abusive relationship in the past and could tell there was something wrong with Randi's boyfriend.
"You don't want to date someone your parents don't like. It's too hard," said Randi.
Randi admitted to being afraid of her boyfriend. "He was a good manipulator-he knew I loved him and he used that against me," she said. "You don't realize that leaving him is what's best for you when you're there."
He came to visit Randi at the hospital the day after the incident, before she went into surgery. She said he apologized and he felt terrible. But he added that if he were going to stay with Randi, she would have to change.
Because he was so afraid of going to jail and losing his son, Randi never reported the incident.
Most reported cases of domestic abuse involve alcohol or drug use, causing a person to lose control of inhibitions.
"I didn't report it, but I wish I would have." She's still trying to pay off the $600 hospital bills from a little under a year ago. Right now, her dad is helping her out until she's done with school.
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